LIGHT AFTER RAIN The light I’m seeking seems very far. I don’t know my purpose in this short life. I know that I’m a Muslim, and I Believe much about Allah’s final revelation to Muhammad (pbuh), but there's a piece of me missing. It’s vital for my life, but it has diminished and faded. I rarely smile, and the weight of the plight of the Palestinians is far too heavy to carry on my own. Yet, I do. This road I am walking is only meant for me. That much I know… It could be a trauma as a child while growing up. Something that I can hardly remember has had a lasting effect on my life, relationships and work. I found that when I feel low, I write poetry and work on my published books. The pain I’ve endured has taken its toll, and due to feeling helpless and hopeless, I get angry sometimes. Anger seems to be something I can feel when the pain gets triggered. It’s difficult to maintain positivity when the world seems so cruel and dark to me most of the time. Yet pain is a thing that guides us to seek happiness. If we never knew suffering, we would never yearn for joy. Allah tells us to endure the pain of this temporary world, and we will be greatly rewarded in the afterlife. I need to hold onto this like I always do.

Revelation in the Cave When our prophet Muhammad (pbuh) prayed for guidance consistently in the cave, there was obvious chaos and pain in his land. Newborn girls were being buried alive, and idolatry was rampant. He knew there must come help from the true god, Allah, and there was! The angel Jibrail appeared before him and told him to read. He told him that he could not read and what it was that Jibrail wanted him to read. So, the surah Al-Alaq was revealed to Muhammad (pbuh), our final prophet. Over time, the whole Quran was revealed to him. The greatest and perfected book, protected by Allah from any form of tampering. The masterpiece of the Arabic language. Allah challenges mankind to come up with a Surah, or even a verse like it, and clearly tells us that we will never be able to.

TRY A desperate mutter in your heart, you know you must be free; you must leave, with this place of death, you must part, yet the weight is too much to heave. Trapped, your days end, and they start; the oppressor in your life does weave. If you smile, it'll be a poison dart. their cruelty is written in the pages of history, an evil, twisted enemy. They crush babies, laughing joyously. They care hypocritically, for they're a product of hateful insanity.

The Jinn, Iblis (Satan) Many of us Muslims fear the fiery Jinn, created perfectly from smokeless fire. Not all of them are devils though. The Jinn too, are being tested with loss and despair to make the all-seeing Allah see if they turn to him with love, regret and fear. They have been on earth the longest, having rights and claim to it more than us. They’re being punished for so much bloodshed, with the presence of Satan in their race. Before humanity, the Jinn killed one another, mercilessly, heartlessly. The pain we suffer here on earth is the likeness of a man walking around in a graveyard, only to dig his own grave and bury himself alive. The effect of the pain the Jinn committed is in the air, land and sea. Pain is a way to purify a person. When we sin, we are blamed, and we blame ourselves for we know it was evil. We then seek forgiveness as Allah is the one who may forgive us. Others can’t, and others don’t truly know or contemplate on Allah’s plans and tests. Would we tell a man, or would we tell Allah? We need Allah, for he is far beyond humanity. It gives us peace to believe, and it gives us comfort and hope in the throes of death. Paradise is next for us, if Allah wills. (InshaAllah)

LONELY yet HAPPY I was an extremely quiet child. I was very naughty, however. I never truly wanted to talk and socialise with family and friends. At some point in a forgotten memory, I felt rejected and neglected. Thinking about this pain that may or may not have happened hurts my heart deeply. It feels like a hole has just been made in it. I remember feeling left out in many things my elder siblings did. I adapted and chose to do everything alone. I chose Islam alone, and I went mad alone. people don’t matter, maybe not as much as they should, but being alone is etched into the fabric of my life. I know that I am very different to them. I feel like no one understands my emotions and personality. maybe I'm from outer space, a planet long gone. It can be true, look at those tiny suns scattered in the night sky. We aren't alone.

The richest man on earth was invited to check the blood bath of October the 7th. There was little. For some reason, he complied with their demands…

WHAT ARE THEY? Atheists seem to know that we humans only live once, with our children as the only connection to Earth after death. How can anyone ever smile if they think this is a fact? Complete death would be unbearable to think about. Losing a mother or father would break a person with the worst anguish, severe to comprehend. Yet, Iblis whispers in my heart, telling me I can do anything I like without judgment after death. I'm glad to have been born into Islam, and I'm so happy that many disbelievers are becoming Muslims so that this pain isn't felt by them when they die. Allah chooses those he prioritises to be Muslim, great or lesser. We all have various tests at many difficulty levels and circumstances. "Allah maltreats no soul."

COLLAPSING My family has always meant the world to me. I, however, wasn't around much. It's not that I wouldn't, but I couldn't. We all have our space in our mysterious minds, and I was in my head often. I know that we are living in dark times. These times are becoming almost impossible for a Muslim who seeks the pleasure of Allah, abstaining from sin as much as humanely possible. With my mental break and my life flipping upside down, I found it almost impossible to become the Muslim I once was. I feel weak and broken when I recollect my lapse into insanity. A pain in my heart often occurs when I try to do something a typical Muslim would do, like reciting the Qur'an or praying on Jummah on Friday. The voices in my head don't accept it. They want me to be docile and obedient to the whims of Iblis (Satan). There's a viral sickness in my mind, and this disease isn't visible. It wants to use me while keeping me alive on the thin thread I'm clinging onto. There's my mind, then there's another in my brain. The viral mind seeks to consume mine and exist without me, which results in a painful psychosis where I see most people as enemies, and I can't sleep with my eyes bulging with extreme agony. My brain overcompensates, and the mind virus is allowed to exist, for its voices are relatively friendly.

A NEW TYPE OF WAR With World War 3 imminent, what must we do to stop Israel from dragging the West into their Islamophobic war against the Palestinians? To stop violence, we must use words to calm these Jews' trauma and psychosis. They think no one cares for them and decide to cause the most pain and the most deaths they possibly can to show us what Hitler did to them in the Polish holocaust. The former victim turned out to be a villain. Their flagrant disregard for human life is probably based on PTSD that was carried to them by their grandparents. They mentally and physically passed the pain to their children and their children. Now, these aberrations of war are proudly copying the cruel tactics of war when once they hated it because they were the prejudiced minority. Now that they have the West around their little finger, they think they can do the same. This cruelty started when World War II ended, with most of the German girls being raped and forced to give birth to these premature children. They use so many Nazi tactics in their wars against the religion of peace, Islam. The German Nazis probably used the Zionist war methods by learning from the Jews, who loved writing about how evil people could become. During World War II, the Palestinians housed the refugees who seemed to respect their kindness, learning their ways with vigour. Then, when night fell, they hit the books and wrote about how much they hated the Muslims caring for Masjid-al-Aqsa.

Broken You never really know when things will change. While I was growing up, there was a joy that didn't last. You don't truly value what you have until you lose it. My father was very religious, and he loved me a great deal when I was young and slowly began to understand this vast world. I'd go everywhere with him, and I didn't initially fear him. Whenever he'd come home from the Masjid, he'd call for me, but after that event, I'd not go to him for the possible sweets he bought. He passed away three years ago, and I imagine him coming home and telling me to read this or that dua (prayer) to get to sleep or because I had a headache. He was good at removing the evil, envious eye from us with water that he'd blow on with specific duas. Slowly, he got angrier and angrier, and nothing would calm him other than time. The fear resonating between us was high; some just wanted to run away and never return. Some did, and that pillar I needed fell, leaving other pillars straining due to the weight of it, the unacceptable situation with no way out. Our family was far from normal, and we found it hard to cope at home and at school. Even though school was a way to not be at home, the weaknesses we had at home manifested there. Bullies found us to be straightforward targets. Even though we were good targets, there was a strength they didn't expect: we were good at holding grudges.

don’t let their wealth and their children dazzle you. Allah only wants to punish them through these things in this world, letting their souls depart while they deny the truth. Qur’an 9:85 (surah tawbah)

Jannah Over 30,000 innocent people have been massacred in Gaza, half of whom were children and babies. Almost 2 million Muslim Gazans have been displaced. To those people, our lives don't matter because we believe that the afterlife was created for the believers and that it was the original home of Adam and Hawa (Eve). Even if they believed in our origins, as is in their Torah, they would be on the path refuted by Islam. They can't believe unless they open their hearts to Allah, the only god and Muhammad, the final prophet of Allah. They have the saying, "Go have your 72 virgins", that they laugh about when they murder us. It's almost like they accept hell as their final home. They will go to the black flames of hell, and nothing will change that. Allah is our witness; we will take this world, and we will make it Muslim. They attack our religion and our people. They insult Allah and our prophet, so they will get what they deserve: war till we win our dignity and freedom to worship Allah!

Jihad They have made the word 'Jihad' taboo. They hear this word from a Muslim believer, and the cops come knocking at your door for suspected terrorist behaviour. Jihad isn't even What you think it is. Wars don't regularly happen, and while it doesn't, a Muslim wages a jihad with himself. It's a war against sin and a war against Iblis. This is the most excellent Jihad, for it perfects a Muslim as a human, not his military ability. Once a person is waging the Jihad with himself, a military war may occur, and to protect his faith and his Muslim brethren, he picks up arms and fights. One who only fights for Allah and hopes for paradise will be significantly rewarded. If he dies, Allah, the most merciful, will forgive all of his sins. We, as Muslims, are believers in the one true god, Allah and his final messenger, Muhammad (pbuh). Islam is the religion of peace, and we are never allowed to raid and oppress other countries. Only if we are threatened with death and oppression do we fight for our victory and spread Islam accordingly.

#FREEPALESTINE (google it)

#FREEPALESTINE #SAVEGAZA (GOOGLE IT)

FRIENDS AND MADRASA At 16, after I did well in English and religious studies and poorly in my maths and science GCSEs (not proud or disappointed, as it was conditioning, not love), I went straight to a madrasa (Islamic college). I was at the age of doing what I wanted without secularism breathing down my neck, making my hair stand on end. I became a seeker of Islamic knowledge. Unlike many classmates who were forced to go to Islamic schools due to getting up to unislamic trouble with non-muslim girls, I chose to go, and it was the greatest of all my choices. I sought the truth of my existence and what Allah wants of me. My old friends would never understand such reasons for answers to the biggest question, "What is the meaning of life?" It was difficult to lose all my friends, who, to this day, resent me for leaving them without a word of goodbye. It would hurt more if I showed that I cared for my homies. So, I vilified myself in their eyes. I do it often when bonds don't break easily. They probably had many nicknames for me, full of hate. Some goodbyes hurt more than others. They blame me, not knowing it was my intention to be hated.